Welcoming the black
by Darkend-Faith
Summary: Buffy comes to save Connor but her own death comes into play! A/C B/A! SERIES
1. Default Chapter

Dedication: to my awesome beta dr luv u hon!  
  
Feedback: always welcome always a must!  
  
A/N: now kids this is a first ch I have more ready  
  
But if u want it posted email me hazard0001@hotmail.com  
  
Spoilers: before baby connor was taken and gone.  
  
  
  
Welcoming the Black  
  
They stood there...just, stood...for what must have been hours, but seemed  
  
mere seconds in their minds.  
  
Was it true, or was something playing a sick joke on them? They didn't think  
  
about how or why, though, all they thought was...she had fallen and no one  
  
had been there to catch her. Her death was an undeniable gift that she had  
  
given without question. They realized she'd died alone. Again.  Always alone.  
  
Thoughts started to cohere and they wondered collectively why had she decided  
  
she couldn't take it anymore? When had she started to break? These words  
  
spurted from their tear-streaked faces, red and blotchy. Except one, the  
  
sister.  She understood all of what happened, had watched Buffy plunge into  
  
nothingness. She understood…they all did somewhere in the chaos that was  
  
their disparate thoughts, why their slayer had committed suicide.  This they knew.  
  
*  
  
"Spike isn't there anything in Sunnydale to kill?" asked an obviously bored  
  
slayer.  
  
"Well do you see anything pet?" replied a frustrated bleach-blond vampire.  
  
"Okay," she ticked off on her fingers, "there's no demons to speak of, a few  
  
fledge vamps, and an utterly still town.  Hello, has hell frozen over or is  
  
it just preparing to attack?" she called up to a serene sky.  
  
In reality she was itching for a battle, just one good fight with a matched  
  
opponent. She was getting extremely bored and was returning to Spike's crypt  
  
just because she had nothing better to do.  
  
"Well should we head home then, Slayer?" Spike said with a naughty smirk.  
  
"No games, Spike, let's... just go do what we do best," she said with a sigh.  
  
*Things in Sunnydale better pick up,* she silently screamed to the sky. *Or  
  
I'm going to lose my mind!*  
  
**  
  
"Angel! A little help please!" yelled a terrified Cordelia holding a  
  
screaming toddler. It wasn't the baby that was scaring her, though; it was  
  
the mass of demons that were working to slaughter her family. She felt  
  
helpless in the situation, hiding under a desk with the child everyone seemed  
  
to want. Wesley had already escaped to take Fred to the hospital where she  
  
lay unconscious and broken. *Lucky her,* Cordelia thought to herself. Gunn  
  
and Angel were still fighting valiantly. Covered in blood and sweat, they  
  
kept going, though Gunn looked close to exhaustion and Angel looked soul-  
  
weary beyond belief. *You know, if Angel wants to be stupid he can be stupid,  
  
but I'm not sacrificing anyone because of it,* Cordelia reached a hand over  
  
the desk and grabbed the telephone. She quickly dialed for the cavalry. "Hi,  
  
Dawnie, is your big sister there?" Cordy asked, filled with hope.  
  
"No."  
  
Her spirits plummeted. "Kay, Dawn, you know I would never want you to get hurt  
  
but...you have to go find her now! Tell her to get in the car and save our  
  
asse' I mean butts and tell her to call us in the car so I can fill her in on  
  
what's happening okay?"  
  
There was a  pause. Dawn was obviously thinking of what she should do.  
  
"Thanks Dawn, now run!" With that, Cordelia hung up the phone and prayed for  
  
her life, that the Slayer would come to find their bodies intact.  
  
***  
  
Dawn got off the phone with Cordelia, picked up a stake, and headed to  
  
Restfield cemetery. She knew that Buffy was either patrolling or at a certain  
  
chipped vampire's crypt. She sidled up to the cement walls of Spike's home.  
  
Not wanting to see what they could be--and probably were--doing, she knocked  
  
on the door. When no one came she decided to take drastic measures. She  
  
opened the door, covered her eyes, with a feeling of disgust, and stepped  
  
inside.  
  
"Buffy, I know I shouldn't be here disturbing...whatever, but we've got  
  
serious problems, okay? So put your clothes back on and come here!" Dawn  
  
yelled sternly over the moans. After a few minutes she felt pressure on her  
  
shoulder and looked up.  
  
"What do you want Dawn?" spoke an annoyed slayer. "We were kind of busy ya  
  
know." She gestured to Spike.  
  
"I know, Buffy, but Cordelia called and it sounded like they really needed  
  
help."  
  
Buffy's face immediately turned to one of concern. "What do you mean Dawn?"  
  
"Cordy said for you to get in the car and call her on the way there so she  
  
could explain what was going on. She...she sounded terrified Buff, like she  
  
was going to die." Dawn spoke quietly expressing her own concern for their  
  
long gone friend.  
  
"Kay, Spike you take care of Dawn for me, I'm going right now." And with  
  
that, Buffy ran to her home into her deceased mother's jeep.   
  
****  
  
Cordy was squeezing her eyes shut tight to try to block out the gruesome  
  
scenes before her when she heard the most heavenly sound. The phone. "H-  
  
Hello?" she asked timidly.  
  
"Hey Cordelia, it's Buffy.  You needed my help?" Buffy spoke with a hushed urgency.  
  
"Yeah we really do, but I've got to tell you a little tale first so you  
  
understand okay?" She heard the affirmative sound on the other end. "Last  
  
year this law firm called Wolfram and Hart..." She began her complicated  
  
story, stopping for expected evil lawyer jokes, and denial and shocked whispered words. She told of their interest in  
  
Angel, how they brought Darla back, how Angel lost control. How Darla killed  
  
herself for their child. How the world was ending right in front of her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy drove frantically as Cordelia told her tale. Silent tears poured down  
  
her tanned face. Her heart was crumbling with the thought that Angel had  
  
become so vulnerable that he had become so lost, like herself. She sped to  
  
L.A. to his hotel, to his home.  
  
******  
  
The demons in the Hyperion started to scatter, trying to hide from something  
  
that none of the fang gang could see. Not that they were objecting or  
  
anything. Wesley and Fred had arrived to a demon-infested hotel. Blood and  
  
gore were everywhere when they heard it…a low rumbling like a....a car. The  
  
doors flew open and there blazing in all her glory stood one annoyed slayer.  
  
Clad in skintight jeans, a red, low-cut shirt, and a black leather duster  
  
flowing behind her, she truly looked magnificent. "Cordy I thought you said  
  
that you were overloaded with demons? I have a life, you know." Buffy said  
  
with a bored sigh as she looked at her nails." Beginning the show she performed at all times. The nonchalant, disinterested, normal buffy, happy buffy. She had perfected  
  
"Uh, not trying to be rude or anything... but who are you?" asked a confused  
  
Gunn and Fred.  
  
That's when Cordelia decided to speak up. "That's Angel's ex, guys."  
  
"Is that all I am, just the tamer of Angelus the Scourge of Europe?" asked an  
  
amused Buffy, with a smirk.  
  
Wesley at this point decided to be helpful by stuttering. "O-Of course not,  
  
Buffy. You are a little unexpected though."  
  
"Buffy what are you doing here?" said Angel, bewildered by the presence of  
  
the Slayer in his hotel.  
  
"Well I was supposed to come here and save your ass, but I guess the party  
  
already left." As if on cue, the largest, greenest, slimiest demon anyone  
  
ever saw broke through the door. Everyone except Buffy sprang into action,  
  
grabbing weapons and dodging for cover. Buffy simply stood in front of the  
  
beast and regarded it with cold calculating eyes.  
  
"Buffy, get out of the way, you don't have any weapons!" called a nervous  
  
Wesley. Buffy put up a hand signaling him to shut up, and stood, head cocked  
  
to the side. Without a moment's notice, she jumped straight into the air and  
  
landed gracefully on the thing's shoulders. All those in the room gaped at  
  
herâ€¦she had just jumped at least fifty feet and was standing calmly on the  
  
demon. With a loud wet snap she broke the creature's steely neck with her bare and caloused hands.   
  
It turned into goo and she stepped nonchalantly from the puddle. "What was  
  
that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"That...that was a Krewslack demon. Known for their large mass and metallic  
  
bones." Wesley answered, in awe of the Slayer's power.  
  
"Hmm, didn't seem that tough to me." Buffy said as she flopped down on the  
  
couch. "So what's next?"  
  
"Okay let me get this straight, you just broke a screw something or others neck in  
  
fifteen seconds and didn't even break into a sweat and now you're asking for  
  
more? Girl, I like you," said an impressed Gunn.  
  
"What can I say, I'm bored." Buffy spoke with a rueful smile. She got up,  
  
walked to the check-in counter, and picked up a whimpering Connor. "He's  
  
going to be a heartbreaker. Angel, I can tell." She stared at the small child  
  
and placed him in the arms of his father all the while being as numb as possible. Though her icy heart had already started to melat at the sight of the tiny child.  
  
Angel caught her eye and they gazed at each other for a moment before quickly  
  
turning away. Cordelia thought to herself as she saw the star-crossed lovers.  
  
*What have I done, he's going to have Buffy face for weeks... and probably  
  
forget I exist.*  
  
"So Buffy, where are you staying?" Angel asked, trying to hide his discomfort  
  
at the knowledge his love knew about Darla.  
  
"Oh, some affordable little motel, probably," she replied as she returning her  
  
gaze to Connor.  
  
"No you should stay here," he commanded softly, gazing at her.  
  
She shook her head slightly, motioning that it would be a bad idea. Cordelia  
  
perked up. "Buffy you can stay with me for awhile, okay?" She grabbed Buffy's  
  
hand, said her good-byes and pulled the Slayer away from her family.  
  
*******  
  
It was her third night at Cordelia's home. Everyday, things were exactly the  
  
same. They would wake up at seven am, leave for Angel's, talk about the  
  
demons, train and eat, and have friendly chats with Fred, Gunn, and Wesley.  
  
Buffy would catch Angel guiltily staring at her, then catch Cordelia glaring  
  
at her. This whole time she had probably spoken to Angel for a maximum of  
  
five minutes.  
  
She could tell that Cordelia was hopelessly in love with him and that he felt  
  
the same way. But every once in a while, she would feel traces of that old  
  
longing in his gaze. Probably just her imagination. She was sitting on  
  
Cordelia's couch flipping through late night television, waiting, waiting for  
  
Cordelia to fall asleep so she could sneak out as she always did. But tonight  
  
was special she wasn't going out to some bar, nope, she was going to the  
  
beach. The sun was starting to come through the windows when she finally felt  
  
Cordelia rest. She slipped out the door, to freedom.  
  
********  
  
Cordelia awoke to a soft rustling on her skin. "She's gone again, is she?"  
  
She mumbled groggily to a silent Dennis. "Well the sun's up she won't make it  
  
back in time," she said pleasantly before burrowing deeper into sleep.  
  
*********  
  
Buffy was walking on the beach peacefully with her feet in the surf, wearing  
  
a T- shirt and a pair of shorts. She listened intently to the waves. It was  
  
as if they were calling to her, offering release. She couldn't ignore the  
  
call any longer and dove deep into the healing liquid. She swam farther and  
  
farther out, though she knew she shouldn't go too far, but it was a welcome  
  
escape. She dove down, down into the crystal water and reached the bottom.   
  
Air was becoming a necessity, it burned in her lungs. Her body was screaming  
  
for life. But all she did was lay down in the silt and sand. She was so  
  
tired. So soul weary, and her ragged heart could not fight for a life that didn't want it. She closed her eyes, welcoming the black.  
  
TBC... 


	2. Just Breathe

Spoilers: all seasons especially s4 the part at the ends from it.  
  
A/N: It gets spooky and confusing, but all stories until the end, Read the first chapter okay!  
  
Disclaimer: I do actually own them, kidding, well duh!  
  
Pairings: None really this chapter, a little B/A  
  
  
  
Just Breathe  
  
  
  
The Fang gang stepped into the hospital waiting room. Angel immediately went to the front desk, impatience, and raw fury coming off him in waves. "Buffy Summers please." He said through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry sir but there still working on her, are you family?" he nodded stiffly. The nurse handed him the `necessary' paper work. "Did you see it on the news sir?" the kindly old nurse asked the vampire. Again he just shook his head stiffly. "I'm terribly sorry that you had to hear a family member was dying on the television. I hope she gets better son." "Thank you." He whispered and stalked off to his friends.  
  
*  
  
"Give her more oxygen." "Uh, her blood pressures down come on people!" "Were losing her!" "Come on little girl just breath okay just breath." They worked on Buffy for over two hours, almost calling it too many times too count. But eventually they stabilized her enough for her to fend for herself. They couldn't do anymore but wait, for what they weren't quite sure.  
  
**  
  
"Hello I'm Dr. Bortolin, I worked on Ms. Summer's today." Introduced a thin woman with dark hair and a broad kind face. "How is she doctor." Wesley spoke with obvious fear. "Well it took sometime but we did stabilize her, but now we get to play the waiting game, its really up to her if she wakes up or just...passes on. I'm sorry that I come of so brash but that's the truth." With a sad look towards the gang of misfits the doctor rose and left. "I...I didn't know this would happen." Spoke a timid Cordelia. "I wouldn't of let her go if I had." "What do you mean let her go?" asked an obviously outraged Angel as his eyes glinted gold.  
  
"The last couple of nights she's been sneaking out. Dennis always wakes me when she leaves. I... I thought that she was just patrolling you know. Its Buffy the slayer, its what she does. But last night she didn't leave till dawn." She finished her little speech in a whisper. Angel hung his head in his hands. "You can see her now if you want, but one at a time okay." Said Dr.Bortolin. Angel got up without a word and headed for Buffy's room.  
  
***  
  
Angel looked at Buffy in shock as he entered the room. She was covered in tubes and wiring into her nose and wrists, she looked pale and weak to Angel. Not her beautiful glowing self. She reeked of death and Angel couldn't tear his eyes away from her. "Hi Buffy." He spoke hoarsely to the sleeping slayer. He clasped her small limp hand into his large strong one. Silent tears pouring onto there link. "I uh I know you probably can't here me but, do you no what happened Buffy? Do you know you almost died again? A scuba diver found at the bottom of the ocean Buffy, blue and cold and lifeless. He a he pulled you to the surface and called 9-1-1. The paramedic's thought you were dead, said you must have been there for an hour at least. But they brought you to the hospital anyways. And the doctors worked on you for a long, long time." He stopped to gain some composure. "And they thought you were dead to. But you came back Buffy you always come back. You're my girl Buffy and I don't  
  
think I can lose you again." He took in and un-needed shaky breath, trying settle the torrent of tears. "Just get better okay Buffy live...for me." He sat there for a few minutes before he let go of her hand; he was at the door when he turned around. "I love you too Angel." She whispered before settling back to sleep. Angel turned around and walked to wards his family.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy's dreams were always things to write about but this one was particularly strange.  
  
Buffy sat on a throne completely structured of bones. She sat there clad in nothing but gauzy material wrapped around from her neck to her mid thighs. She sat there sitting next to A beautiful woman in the same etire as herself. The woman or girl rather had long flowing fire colored hair. Her skin was tanned enough to say that there was probably African blood not far down the line. And her eye's...her eyes were a stormy green ad blue. Buffy looked onto the woman's eyes closely. And saw her own reflection not that right. Her hair was long and a very odd color indeed. It was golden but had a flyaway look to it as if constantly in a breeze. Her eyes were a mossy green color specked with brown. Buffy gazed at the other inhabitants of the room. Angel sat to the side of the girl staring intently at her watery eyes a cold smirk on his face. The others in the looked oddly uncomfortable at the situation all women all wore the same gauzy uniform. But something was different about them  
  
to, they all had either fiery hair or watery eyes or mossy ones or the flyaway hair like herself. But these traits on them were a little duller a little less expressive. In the front row stood Kendra and Faith leading the women. Leading them to a body... her own...five paces away, the hundreds of women made a semi-circle around the fallen slayer. Exactly as she had looked when she had died the second time. Then the other women started to chant, as Angel stood infront of them.  
  
"The power of the slayer and all who yield it. Last to ancient first, we invoke thee. Grant us thy domain and primal strength." Buffy felt herself and her companions start to growl at Angel. "Accept us in the power we possess. Make us mind and heart and spirit joy. Let the hand encompass us. Do thy will." Different members of the group spoke when their turn arrived. "Spiritus...spirit. Animus...heart. Sophus...mind. And manus.the hand." She felt herself say. "We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel-the hand...daughter of sineya...first of the ones." Buffy saw the first slayer step in front a still smirking angel; there was something about his eyes though they seemed...darker. "We implore thee, admit us, bring us to the vessel take us now." They all shouted together. She felt the girl who also sat at a throne grab her hand as a strange light passed through them. They stood as one, facing what she knew to be Angelus. "So Kesstisus, Aurelius turning against you own kind are  
  
you?" He purred as he addressed the girl and Buffy herself. The girl spoke though. "We may come from darkness and we may return to it but we shall stop you first." She said as we both pointed at him, hands still clasped. "You can't last much longer." He spoke his bravado wavering. Then collectively they all spoke. "We can. We are forever. You could never hope to grasp the source of our power. Then Buffy turned to her companion. "You know what you have to do." The girl said, bloody tears pouring down her face.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy awoke in her hospital room alone. Nothing remained of the dream. Except the ringing words. "You can't last much longer." The words taunted her soul.  
  
******  
  
Angel felt an uneasy tension in the room. A primal force enveloping him, surrounding him. Buffy…Buffy…the words of his love ringing in his head as a familiar laugh rose from his sub-concious. It was cold and hard, and it spoke in an almost whisper: You can't last much longer… Ringing in his tattered soul.  
  
TBC… 


	3. Decent into...

Summary: Hyperion here we come!  
  
Rating: PG Duh!  
  
Spoilers: Tabula Rasa and Just before Connor leaves on Angel.  
  
  
  
Descent into…  
  
They were bringing Buffy home today. And as Cordelia put it Angel was just a little obsessed with making sure Buffy would be comfortable. And even though the fang gang put on a happy show around each other the tension was thick enough to cut. Angel was speaking to Cordelia in that clipped polite manner that spoke volumes about his anger towards her. Gunn and Fred were generally confused about the whole situation. And Wesley was worried that someone would explode. "Angel are you sure Buffy should stay here…with you…and uh, Connor?" Cordelia asked in the most tact filled way possible to her. "Yes I'm sure Cordelia, we've discussed this before. It's the best place for her." Angel spoke without actually looking at her. "Ya, ya I know we've discussed it but I don't think its necessary for her to stay…here. She would probably be more comfortable with the Scobbies." "I know this Cordelia but I spoke to Buffy about it and she said that she really didn't want to be around them while recovering." He growled in that quiet, calm way that scared Cordelia more. "End of discussion." He stalked to re-re-re- check everything. "Trouble's coming." Cordelia whispered to herself.  
  
*  
  
"Hey Dawn wait up!" Called Janice behind Dawn in an overly crowded school hallway.  
  
"Oh, hey J what's the damage? Did you and Mike get into another of your fights to end all fights?" Asked an amused Dawn. "No, silly, but I've got huge news! Were getting a new girl! All the way from L.A." "Who would want to move here? Its freaking, Sunnyhell. Literally. "Dawn don't be so dramatic! You should be excited…because I looked at her permanent record in the office!" Janice sang in a singsong voice. "Really what is she like a freak?" "No, that's the weird part! She's a straight A student, even took college classes…" "So a geek?" "This is where it gets weirder, she's really pretty like model pretty, an ex-cheerleader the star in all of her school plays…" "Oh a cheerleader, ewww!" "No ex-cheerleader, apparently she is so funny she could do stand up comedy, plays like four different bands and is an awesome painter." "An over achiever, we have a winner?" "No its says in one of her reports she doesn't plan to go to college or anything like that. And not because she expects to be some huge star." Tre-weird, so she's a chic hipster, brain, artist, comedian, slacker?" "Bingo, Dawnie, how much you wanna bet she ends up ruling the school?" "Oh I'm sure she will and I bet she'll despise us." "Yep, were doomed." "Seems to be a running theme for me." They walked off to class towards the un-know.  
  
**  
  
"Buffy welcome home!" shouted the tenants of the Hyperion as Angel rolled her in. "Hi guys you didn't have to do this for me." Spoke the battered and broken slayer. "Oh its not much basically it was just us saying welcome home." Poured on a guilty cordelia. "Well…thanks." "Uh, Buffy what do you wanna do?" Angle nervously babbled. "Sleep would be good." Said Buffy with a lopsided grin. "Sleep it is!" Angel said as he wheeled Buffy to the elevator.  
  
***  
  
"Students, we have a new classmate with us today." Enthused the ninth grade English teacher. "Her name is Ashlee O'Connor, and she's joining us all the way from L.A." The English teacher grinned at her students. "She should be here any minute." As if on cue a girl walked in. Dawn looked at her in awe she wasn't just beautiful like some Britney Spears. She radiated power, confidence and a sense of maturity the ninth graders had yet to find themselves. She was dressed in a short leather mini skirt, spiked heels adorned each foot and a simple red t-shirt with a cartoon monkey en-circled her bodice. It was an odd combination but Dawn had the felling it fit there new student to a T. "So Ashlee tell us something about yourself." The teacher gushed. "Um, right… kay I'm from L.A. and I'm hear because I have to be. I'm not big on the conformity of public education." Ashlee said with a coy smirk. "Well why don't you talk a seat next to Dawn Summers." The teacher pointed. "Be happy too." The girl said with a cold glint in her eye."  
  
****  
  
Angel and Buffy sat awkwardly in Buffy's new room. "Uh, I'm really tired I'd better just get to sleep." She spoke in that fake kinda of way. "Oh…uh sure I'll get out of your hair." Angel got up to leave. "No, wait…I need help to get into bed and change ya know." The awkward level zoomed to new breaking levels. "Right…" He moved back to Buffy concentrating completely on his task. Without looking in her eyes, he pulled her shirt over her head, pulled her thin hospital shoes and socks of her feet and slid her out of her paints. Still not once looking at her, he placed her under the cheap hotel covers and tucked her in. "If you need anything just yell and I'll be as quick as I can. And I'm sorry about the blankness of the room; I just did it in white because I didn't know what you'd of wanted. And…" he rambled as Buffy cut him off. "Angel everything's fine, perfect really, almost suspiciously perfect. "They granted each other tiny smiles. "Just one thing." She said as Angel's spirits plummeted." Could you stay with me awhile, I…uh…I don't trust myself to be alone anymore." She whispered. "Sure." He answered in the same hushed and forbidden like tone. He climbed into the soft bed with her and rapt her in his cold marble arms.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy again was swept up in a sea of dreams.  
  
The girl that had been by her side in that first dream which was always remembered in the house of sleep. Was at her side again but was crying those copper tears of blood. She looked desperately at an un-moving Angel caught in the pain of anguish. And then the girl changed. Swept up into a nineteenth century costume a sword skewering her midsection she died. Again, rapped in a bodice of leather a fiery arrow encompassing her heart, she died. Again, wearing only but rags a vampire pierces her throat, she died. Again, in seventies wear in an alley she a stake slams into her chest, she died. Again and again Buffy was shown the girls death in many different ways in many different places in many different ways. But they were similar in one way. She had sacrificed herself every time. And she would always sacrifice herself. Forever. Buffy was swept up again to the room filled with the gauze worn women. She looked to her companion, crying tears of blood. "You know what you have to do." She whispered. Buffy walked towards Angelus, but did not stop there she went to her own fallen form, and knelt. Angelus knelt as well. Buffy lifted the hand that had held the girls to see bloody tears on it. Angelus did the same. They pressed their hands to the fallen slayers heart, blood pouring on her shirt…  
  
******  
  
Buffy awoke, and in a dreamland not far away so did a slayer.  
  
*******  
  
TBC…  
  
A/N: please feedback I want to know what you think and what you think is going on!!!! Pwease!! 


	4. darkness

Darkness  
  
"So Dawn, are you going to Lia's party?" asked Janice across Ashlee's  
  
shoulder.  
  
"I don't know. I think I can get out to go, but it's a matter of getting  
  
back in that I'm worried about."  
  
"Just sleep over at mine!" whispered an exasperated Janice.  
  
"Can't, no sleepovers. Remember Halloween?" Dawn said pointedly as she winced.  
  
"Well the party's tonight and you can so sneak back in, and it's like the  
  
social event of the year," Janice pleaded.  
  
Dawn glanced at the newcomer who seemed concerned to Dawn.  
  
"Do you wanna come?" inquired Dawn with a forced casualty.  
  
"Sure might as well." Ashlee said, a grin springing to life on her face.  
  
"Then it's a deal, we three head to Lia's at, say seven, hang around there  
  
for awhile and then before Dawn has to go home she can show you the Bronze,"  
  
Janice spoke, pleased.  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me," agreed Dawn.  
  
Ashlee looked unsure, though. "Uh, guys what's a Bronze?"  
  
"I guess it's time to fill you in on the scene then," Janice winked.  
  
"Guess it is." Ashlee whispered a tiredness claiming her traveled bones  
  
*  
  
Buffy awoke in Angel's arms and it…it was safe. She missed the sense of security she always had when with him.  This is why she didn't want to go  
  
Home…now. In Sunnydale she always had to be the strong one, the one who  
  
always saved the day, the fast one…the hero. And here she just didn't have  
  
to be here. At home, she couldn't be injured around them, it would scare them too  
  
much. Wreck her little family. Here, it didn't matter. This is why she would  
  
stay…  
  
**  
  
"That was an awesome party, don't you think Ash?" asked a still excited Dawn.  
  
"Pretty cool," responded the amused newcomer.  
  
"Sorry we couldn't stay longer, I have a way over-protective family," Dawn  
  
ground out through clenched teeth.  
  
"S'kay, I kinda wanna see this Bronze, and the guys were getting ever so  
  
slightly drunk," Ashlee laughed.  
  
"Ashlee, I hardly know anything about you except what's on your permanent  
  
record," Dawn looked away slightly ashamed. "Tell me something about you  
  
that's not been catalogued."  
  
Ashlee looked thoughtful for a moment then… "My goal is to live to twenty,  
  
and have fun while I survive." She smirked in a sad sort a way.  
  
"What come on! We are booth going to live to be old biddies, why be such a  
  
cynic?"  
  
"Cause Dawn, there's a lot of scary things in this world. I can't run from  
  
them forever." She smiled suddenly. "Look we're here, let's go speak of  
  
lighter things!" Ashlee cheered as she raced her confused new friend to the  
  
club.  
  
***  
  
Angel slid carefully out of Buffy's bed.  He wouldn't wake her for the  
  
world. She looked so peaceful, no nightmares plagued her rest. And he was  
  
glad that he could give her this tiny moment of peace. They still hadn't  
  
talked about the accident, about why Buffy had swum out… so, so far. He  
  
wouldn't think of it now, he didn't need to be thinking of her…dying  
  
anymore. Because she was here and here he could keep her safe.  
  
He turned and walked into the new day.  
  
****  
  
"Dawn, this place is completely killer!" Gushed the excited Ashlee.  
  
"I know, you've been saying so for the past half hour," Dawn smiled to soften  
  
the bite of her words. "I'm sorry to ruin this wirly gagger of fun but its eleven o'clock  
  
and this girl's got to get home before someone has a cow."  
  
"Oh…okay I think I'll stay a little longer, though," Ashlee waved absently,  
  
intent on bobbing her head in time with the music.  
  
"See you later alligator," Dawn tossed over her shoulder as she walked into  
  
the night.  
  
*****  
  
"Cordelia, can I talk to you for a minute," asked Angel quietly.  
  
"Uh, sure boss," she nodded nervously.  
  
There was a time to burn bridges and to mend them. Angel thought that the  
  
latter was probably the better choice, as he'd smashed their bridge to bits.  
  
He led her to Wesley's office, and shut the door behind them. He knew he was  
  
scaring her, and deep in the pit where Angelus lived, Angel enjoyed the fear  
  
coming off her in waves. Her heartbeat quickened further as he stepped closer  
  
to her.  
  
Still not releasing her from his steel-like grasp, he purred in a clear  
  
Angelus tone, "Cordelia…I'm sorry for being angry with you lately."  
  
He'd surprised her. "Its okay Angel, I, uh, I almost got Buffy killed  
  
remember?" she squeaked.  
  
"No it's not okay. I shouldn't have taken my pain out on you."  
  
She relaxed, which angered his inner beast further. "But if you ever keep  
  
information that important from the team again," he squeezed her delicate  
  
arm, "I will be forced to take more extreme measures."  
  
Her heart beat quickened once again. "But for now, can we be friends again?"  
  
he released his grip, took a small step back and  looked at her the way one  
  
would glance at a lover.  
  
"Of course, Angel I thought you'd never ask."  
  
*****  
  
Willow was at the bar of the Bronze again. Alone. She was brooding over the  
  
shambles of her torn life when she was interrupted. "Can I sit here?"  
  
questioned a beautiful bronzed Brunette in spiked heels, a leather mini- skirt  
  
and a red t-shirt with a cartoon monkey on it.  
  
"Oh sure, I'm a lone kitten tonight." Willow smiled at the newcomer. There  
  
was something fresh yet familiar about her.  
  
"Thanks, my friend had to go home, so I guess I'm a lone kitten too." The  
  
stranger smiled, and Willow was blinded for an instant at the hidden beauty.  
  
"My name's Willow," she extended her hand.  
  
"Hi, I'm Ashlee."  
  
"How come I've never seen you about town before?" inquired the ex- witch.  
  
"Just got here yesterday, I'm large with the new," Ashlee smirked.  
  
"Cool where from?"  
  
"L.A. darling," she spoke with the fake aristocrat accent.  
  
Willow giggled, she had a feeling she already liked this girl. "I'm sorry not  
  
trying to be racist or anything but I kinda can't figure your, ah, race out."  
  
Willow whispered embarrassed.  
  
"Don't worry, hardly anybody ever can. My mom was English, scotish, irish,and Swedish. And my dad was  
  
Egyptian and kenyian.  
  
So now I'm brown all over."  
  
"Cool, what do you mean was?"  
  
"My dad was killed in a car accident when I was three and my mother was  
  
killed in a car accident when I was twelve." Ashlee looked at her shoes  
  
sadly.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked!" Willow tried to back pedal.  
  
"Its okay, better I tell you now then it come later when were best friends."  
  
Ashlee said with a half smile.  
  
At that thought Willow's heart grew lighter, she had a feeling they would be  
  
great friends. Ashlee looked down at her watch.  
  
"I'm sorry Willow but I'm on now!" Ashlee began to get up.  
  
"Don't go!" Willow almost pleaded, then quizzicly. "And where are you going?"  
  
"I'm supposed to sing, on stage. Like now. Don't worry, as soon as my set is  
  
over I'll come back and learn everything in the giant book of Willow," she  
  
winked and walked on stage.  
  
"Hi everybody I'm Ashlee! You probably want a real band but I'm all they  
  
could get, so I'm going to sing a song by Sarah McLaughlin.  It's called  
  
Full of Grace and I hope you don't boo me off!" Willow knew the song, knew  
  
how beautiful it sounded when sung by the original artist, knew it would be  
  
hard for Ashlee to pull off. Then willow heard Ashlee start the ballad and  
  
swore she was hearing angels.  
  
"The winter here's cold, and bitter, its chilled us to the bone," Ashlee  
  
could sing and Willow felt better just listening.  
  
Ashlee put her heart and soul into it and a light shone from the new girls  
  
eyes as if she was showing you one piece of the long road of life just as it  
  
was meant to be shown. "Fell just like I'm sinking and I claw for solid  
  
ground."  
  
"And oh darkness I fell like letting go." A single tear fell from Willow's  
  
eye, blazing a trail down her cheek.  
  
"Pulled down by the undertow," It was beauty at its purest, beauty at its  
  
brightest.  
  
"I know I can love you much better than this…Full of grace my love." The song ended  
  
and a single red tear fell from Ashlee's chocolate eye, un-noticed by her audience.  
  
*******  
  
Buffy awoke in a sunlight-filled room and instantly panicked that Angel was  
  
now dust. Then she remembered he had left so quietly, so stealthily, as not  
  
to wake his injured charge. Buffy tried to rise to see what time it was and  
  
found she couldn't. Her legs could barely twitch under her own power. So she  
  
decided she'd just have to roll out of bed. It sounded like a good idea at  
  
the time but, when actually tried she found that the floor was really hard.  
  
"Oops," she said to a silent room. She crawled snake-style to her wheelchair.  
  
When situated in it as best she could, she pulled on the robe left neatly on  
  
the bed. "Downstairs we go!" she whispered to herself. "To face an unwelcome  
  
day."  
  
********  
  
Angel was silently watching a very happy Cordelia type innocently on her  
  
computer. He smiled to himself about the exotic beauty who was so willing to  
  
give her heart to him. When he heard the elevator doors open and looked to  
  
see.. "Buffy, what are you doing out of bed." He leapt to her side.  
  
She smirked at him, "Angel it's okay. All I did was fall out of bed and push  
  
an elevator button."  
  
"I know but the doctor told you to take it extremely easy." The concern was  
  
evident on his face.  
  
"Well we both know that's impossible, I get bored rather easily," she chided.  
  
"Buffy, just don't push it. Okay?"  
  
"Whatever you say, Angel. Now where do you keep the pickles?" Their day was  
  
spent in a heavenly sort of way. No real issues came up and they were happy  
  
to just be. It was filled with pickles and ice cream, poetry and weapons. He  
  
showed her his favorite broadsword and she, in turn, admired it. As the sun  
  
set, they went out into the garden.  Angel had a book in his hand. They sat  
  
down against an oak.  It was similar to their time at her mother's  
  
funeral.  Then he began to read:  
  
" And I am wanting  
  
I am needing you here inside the absence of fear  
  
Muscle and sinew  
  
velvet and stone  
  
this vessel is haunted  
  
it creaks and moans  
  
my bones call to you  
  
in their separate skin  
  
make myself translucent  
  
to let you in  
  
my hands will adore you  
  
through all darkness aim  
  
they will lay you out in moonlight  
  
and reinvent your name  
  
for i am wanting  
  
i am needing you  
  
here inside the absence  
  
of fear."  
  
He finished…a far away look on his face.  
  
"Sounds like a spell," Buffy sighed contented.  
  
"I used to think it was too, I, when I left and moved to L.A. I'd read this  
  
poem to myself every night, wishing I was reading to you. And then one day I  
  
stopped."  
  
"Because you found your friends, right? "Buffy guessed lazily.  
  
"No because, I realized I loved you too much to pretend things were  
  
different, that it was against everything we had sacrificed to pretend."  
  
"I get that," she whispered.  And they both fell asleep under a blackened  
  
night.  
  
******************  
  
Buffy was once again wrapped in the lose gauze. Angelus's bloody hands were  
  
pressed to her fallen form right on the heart, as were her own. And there, in  
  
that instant, in a land between sleeping and waking…life and death, her  
  
fallen form opened her eyes. And there, Buffy realized that she was not the  
  
same as this girl on the ground.  
  
That was Buffy Anne Summers, slayer, protector, sister, lover and friend…a  
  
hero. And gazing at herself waking on the ground, she saw someone who had yet  
  
to be discovered.  The new Buffy had to become the slayer again; she had to  
  
raise the hero. She looked to the girl with the bloody red tears and saw her  
  
nod,yes. Buffy had a very long twisted road to wander, it would certainly be hell.  
  
************************  
  
In Sunnydale, the hell mouth, Boca del Inferno, Ashlee Colleen O'Connor got a  
  
fiery chill.  A message: trouble's coming…  
  
TBC  
  
Oh, I left in a semi clif hanger.. whatchya gonna do? 


End file.
